his love is warmer

aye…this song just brings an indescribable warmth to one’s heart (:

in trying times like these, it’s good to know that there’s a God who cares for you

his love is warmer than the warmest sunshine
softer than a sigh
his love is deeper than the deepest ocean
wider than the sky
his love is brighter than the brightest star
that shines every night above
and there is nothing in this world
that can ever change his love

two years on. anyone still remember the actions? (: haha.

—

(but why. why. why. why. is it some still can’t understand the love of God ):  )

—

oh, c3-06 is a nice place to pray (: when it’s empty of course.

Are you a Rice Christian?

you must be wondering - what is a ‘Rice Christian’?

When missionaries brought the light of the gospel to Asia, some offered rice and other food items to people (living in poverty) who chose to accept Christianity. Faced with the possiblity of starvation and death, many people converted to Christianity - not out of a genuine sincerity, but out of a need for their own survival. The term ‘Rice Christian’ is used to refer to such individuals who believe in the faith because of some direct benefit it brings to oneself.

and when the rice is finally removed, so too is their allegiance to the faith they professed to believe in.

In Singapore, most of us are fortunate enough not to face starvation; yet however, there are still many ‘Rice Christians’ among our midst.

it’s food for thought, how many of us here have a price for our faith? how many of us are believing in Christianity for some sort of personal benefit? more importantly, how many will only believe in Christian so long as it brings no harm to themselves?

one day, when all is stripped away, many ‘rice Christians’ will forsake the faith, and only the genuine will remain - where will you be found?

what is the rice that you’re holding on to? what is the rice, that when removed, will threaten your faith?

i think a true Christian will be able to say something like this:

‘Lord, even if it means me losing salvation (spending an eternity in hell) for the sake of Your glory, i’m willing, because i love You and believe in You’

that’s not easy to say. really.

emotional baggage

it’s tough when the people all around you keep dragging their feet along classroom corridors…

it’s tougher when you know your feet want to do the same

but you try your best to maintain the lighthearted shuffle

—

come on people. snap out of it.

there’s no need to be glum.

it’s contagious you know!

bubbles

.

you know. i never knew i had one.

i never knew i was afraid of being poked.

i thought it was just you.

the God who grieves

some might be surprised at the title of this post. some might immediately recognize the double meaning of the phrase. some might wonder what this is all about.

For a long time, I could not reconcile the seemingly opposite truths of a God who loves and the presence of grief in our lives. For awhile, I reasoned that suffering and grief were part of the punishment meted out to people who justly deserved it when they had wronged God. However, the line of reasoning fell apart when I considered the figure of Job - a righteous man undergoing suffering - and it was demolished even more by the evidence provided by the lives of those around me - there were so many good people dealing with grief.

God was sovereign, that was something I knew. And so I reasoned that He must have sovereignty over the grief that happens in the world. I told myself that God allowed for grief to occur, but that other than providing the sanction for it, He had no part to play in the actual infliction of that grief. Thinking further, I reasoned that as a parent allows for a child to undergo trials, God (in His love) allows us to undergo grief in order to emerge stronger. This line of reasoning held for a long time.

But as I read more of the word, it dawned upon me that God was not only the one who allowed for grief; At times, God actually has a direct role to play in grieving us. At this point, many of us would be shocked, even I was at first, but it was something that I grew to accept after some time. Just look at the following verse:

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men

Lamentations 3:32-33

Realize that in the passage above, God is said to bring grief. No doubt, He brings it unwillingly, but He is the one who brings it. I find it hard to accept that a loving God would deliberately grieve his children like this, but don’t we see examples of it everywhere? God takes a loved one home to be with him, but grieves us in the process. God takes away something precious from us, and we are grieved. In His sovereignty, God actually dishes out the grief at times. I will not go as far as to say that God is responsible for all the grief we experience, but He does have a direct role to play in some of it.

But I must qualify what has been said. Go back to the verse. Look at the conflicting emotions that rage within the very heart of God:

In his hand, He holds the rod of grief, ready to strike his creation, his people.
But in His great love, He hesitates, He wonders if He should.
Eventually, He does, He knows He has to
But the expression on His face gives it away - He is unwilling

He knows that his people may misunderstand Him
He knows his people would probably not understand why
But He knows why, He knows it’s for the greater good
And so he brings grief to those he loves
With tears in His eyes, he does just that.

And this brings me to the double-meaning of the phrase.

God is a God who grieves us -  unwillingly, no doubt, but he brings grief
God is also a God who grieves with us - and shares in our sorrows.

One of the most touching verses in the Bible is also the shortest:

“Jesus wept”

John 11:35

It was God who allowed for the death of Lazarus; It was God who actually removed Lazarus’ spirit and life from him; And yet, that same God that caused the grief, is there to grief with the Lazarus’ loved ones. That same God is there to weep with those who mourn over the death of Lazarus. But God had his purposes in that grief - He wanted to raise Lazarus to life and show that He had power even over death!

And so, my friends, God has a purpose for whatever grief you might be experiencing now. God might have been responsible for allowing you to experience that grief, but trust me, His heart is also grieved as he watches you weeping, mourning, and caught up in sorrow. And he wants you to know that He still cares, and He wants you to keep hanging on in that time of grief, because eventually, you will see the light (:

“Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope;
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.”

(Lamentations 3:20-21)

all’s change

a trickle of sunlight teases through
gray curtains - unmoved, untouched
for months, since i last saw you.

once, someone told me -
the everlasting sun shines always
months, i thought, how can it be?

how can it be?
when grayish drapes stood before me.
how can it be?
when darkness seemed so close to me.

but all’s change
though i haven’t done a thing
still He -
has called the sun to rise again

but

i’m not certain - if it’s really sunlight
not certain - if Change will change again
still they say:

‘if you can’t understand His plan
trust, in His hand’

Amen

eh.

it’s tiring, having to manage so many relationships; exhausting, having to shepherd so large a flock.

it’s times like this i realise that God must be pretty big, pretty awesome, and pretty divine, in order for Him to love each one of us so dearly and so sincerely.

i just can’t seem to be there for everyone anymore ):

And i realise, how many people i’ve neglected - so many so many ><

And i realise, how much one feels alone - when one tries to be there for so many different people, all the relationships forged seem shallow. it’s a tradeoff. few but deep friendships. or many but shallow friendships. i wonder why i’ve been gravitating toward the latter recently. ):

or maybe, being with so many different people, trying to help people, pray for people, keep their spritual lives in check… as much as one does it to glorify God, maybe a part of me’s simply do it to take my mind off other things.

‘this tempest will not give me leave to ponder/On things would hurt me more’

Dear Lear, i think i understand.

our greatest treasure

“I am your shield, your very great reward” (Genesis 15)

why do people give up on chasing God? Why do people stop seeking God? When one stops seeking, it means that one has given up looking for what one had once sought. When one stops seeking the goal, it could mean that one feels that the prize is no longer attainable - either it has been forcefully snatched away and hence impossible to reach, or the sheer difficult to obtain it impedes us to a point that we simply give in, resigned.

But I think that one main reason why many give up chasing God is because along the way, they realise that they were not actually chasing God in the first place. And so, when what they had first been seeking is removed, they simply stop the chase. Perhaps they had been seeking the gift and not the Giver.

God promises that “when you seek him with all your heart, He will be found by you” (Jeremiah 29:13); the truth is - we will find Him when we seek Him! It may take a long while, but by God’s grace it is certainly not an impossibility! There is no reason then, why anyone should give up seeking God - because He will be found - unless of course, the seeker had not intended to find God in the first place.

So often, we forget that God is the “great reward” at the end of the race. Our eyes are so easily distracted by God’s blessings and gifts (both on earth and in heaven) that we forget that it was God’s presence which we had ventured out to find in the first place. When we seek God for His will in our lives, it is not so much the will and specific direction we seek, but the face of God that we desire to meet! I often find that in seeking God for His will, we are precisely living in a manner that pleases Him - and hence living His will!

So many of us have not yet grasped the value of God; it is one that Paul realised when he writes that he “considered everything a loss compared to the surapssing greatness of knowing Christ my Lord” (Philippians 3″6-7). It is one that Moses realised when he said firmly “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here” - Because for Moses, the reward was not the promised land alone, the reward was God alone, and without God, the promised land was worthless! it was nothing!

Father, if only we would see how precious you are to us, if only we could see how great it is to know you, then we would give up everything - like the merchant who sold everything to buy the pearl of knowing You. The Lord often removes precious things from our lives to show us that He ought to be the centre. the Lord wants to be our “glorious crown” and “beautiful wreath” (Isaiah 28:5) and so He often tramples on the other wreaths and valuable things in our lives that we pride on.

I guess the question to ask ourselves is:

where does my security lie?
where does my reward lie?
Does it lie in achievements, accolades, other people?
Of does it lie in God alone?

I pray the Lord continue to reveal to us each day that He is hte most precious, and that we ought to seek Him above all (:

patience, patience I need

i think i need patience now. as the king did.

never before, have the words of that fateful verse seem so clear.

you know the feeling; you need to step in; lest the opportunity pass

but you can’t; you should not;

you cannot strike the rock

you need to wait. for that perfect plan to be accomplished.

eventually

—

IOC beckons. ah.

wheel of life

in the midst of preparing for the much-anticipated IOC, i come across the image of the wheel of life - one that begins its roundtrip with Lear’s announcement of his intent to ‘crawl unburdened toward death’ and culminates with Albany’s own intent to hand the kingdom over to Edgar and Kent (who tragically declines).

and it struck me, how much the metaphor of the wheel appropriated the IB life - 2 years of the IB journey necessitates one full circle of the wheel, from January 1st of 2007 to January 1st of 2008, and similarly, for every other day in the year…

—

every day comes by twice -
Second chances?
i think not - rather,
Second thoughts on what might have been
threehundredandsixtyfive days takes a long time to come
Full circle; And a lot can change.
It always spins; and every round brings
sorrow mingled with
Joy.

—

funny coincidences; where pearly teardrops came from yours before; they now come from mine.
such is the wheel of life (: