let the flame burn brighter!

to my friends who have just returned from the mission trip, lost, confused, unsure of where to go – the truth is, i know just how you feel; the thing is, many times we emerge from the peak of Sinai, hearts ablaze, faces radiant, only to find that we return once again to our ‘mediocre lives’; we come out of a spiritual high feeling incredibly depressed, alone, and unsure of how to proceed from there.

but really – what can we do?

i guess, for one, don’t let the devil steal the joy and passion from you;
remember those one-hour qts? maintain it at one hour.
remember how you spent the morning and evening at devotions? keep it that way – start and end the day off with a short time of worship to God in heaven
remember the faces of the children you met? don’t stop interceding for them! prayer knows no boundaries
remember how you ministered love? don’t stop doing that for the people around you!

Elijah, after calling down fire from heaven on Mt.Carmel, ended up isolating himself in the wilderness, feeling lonely and depressed, sitting underneath the jupiter tree. and there he saw the great fire, the great wind, and he heard God’s voice in the still small breeze:

“What are you doing here?”

yes. to you all who are confused. God calls out – what are you doing? haha it’s strange but true, but many times we really give ourselves unnecessary confusion. to you who have been set on fire – what are you doing sitting and stoning? i know it’s easy to say, tough to do, but it’s nothing more than praying to God for the next step, and asking God to channel your energies and your passion into the next mission field.

let’s have a paradigm shift here:

thing is. KK was a mission field. it was a place we visited this year (or the last, or both). and we went there and were changed, as much as we were used to touch others; but there’s a larger, ever-present mission field out there – and for 2008, it’s ACS, it’s the school, it’s where you’ll be spending 6/7 of your life!

ACS needs touching. ACS needs fervent prayer-warriors. ACS needs intercessors. ACS needs preachers. ACS needs encouragers. ACS needs people who can love. ACS needs listening ears. ACS needs evangelists!

so there, channel your energies, and new-found passion and changed hearts into the harvest field before you. continue to pray for KK, but remember your calling in Singapore as well. God leads you to new harvest fields. go forth and bring Him glory!

Amen.

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3 messages for everyone (:

and so i decided today, to post much, after all, i’ll be off soon on church youth camp, missing every one of you. and whilst you’re all doing your own stuff – whether it be daily living, or mission trip, or what not – i do hope to leave with you guys a portion of myself, the incredibly rich lessons that God first taught me in the past trying week. (: i’m no pastor, i’m not perfect, hardly higher on the spiritual plane, but these messages are a part of me that i hope to share. to encourage, to build up, and to strengthen all my dear brothers and sisters. (that would be you (: ) haha.

so here we go. three messages. do take time to reflect and digest them ya? hope it’ll be a blessing to each and every one of you, for the glory of God. and (ah, i’m starting to sound like i’m leaving on a jet plane and never coming back haha) take care. (:

MESSAGE 1: HOPE AND BEING STRONG

after faith and love, i thought, at least post something on hope. (:

Psalms 27:14 “Wait for the Lord, Be Strong and Take Heart and Wait for the Lord”

the message is simple; wait for the Lord; wait for Him to do what He has to. remember the lesson of Moses striking the rock too soon – and simply wait, because the Lord knows best. there’s patience involved, the grief may stay, the pain may stay, but wait patiently, and be sure that one day we will see the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living (v13)

but. it was only today that God opened these eyes of mine to see the greater significance behind the verse.

there was one day i decided to venture down to school for a little while; one of those days when i was rather bothered by the fact that i had made it through to the second round of Bio Olympiad and so was robbed of whatever time i had left to do whatever i would have liked to do (evidently, i’m still left with much time, but well); and so i met up with John in school, and together, we enjoyed the fellowship of listening to songs on the Zen Neeon II, for at least the next hour or so, seated on a bench at the roundabout.

of course, like in any meaningful fellowship, we decided to end off with a prayer session atop on the balcony (Kenneth’s territory (: ) and there, we both prayed for a word; a word which we asked God to give us; a word which would guide us through the coming year. that intimidating year 2008.

i recall the word. it was clear as crystal: Courage

the verse was no coincidence:

Have i not commanded you? Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid; do not be discouraged; for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go”

Courage. and strength.

— (there’s nothing secret here. haha i assure you i do not copy emil)

Psalms 27:14 “Wait for the Lord, Be Strong and Take Heart and Wait for the Lord”

and so i’ve been meditating on the word ‘strength’, even in the midst of a trying time now, and God has opened my eyes – so i shall share (as a good person would always do). Psalms 27:14 was a verse which brought much hope and strength when my life was shrouded in darkness. it taught me to hope, and hope like never before, but i had always overlooked the portion on strength. and i wonder. what is this strength all about?

just a few days back, i read the story of Samson. the bible says that whenever he performed a mighty display of physical strength, “the Spirit of the Lord (first) came upon him”. Samson’s story was one of physical strength, but in this time and age, we all need moral strength to stand up as light in the darkness; and we all need the strength to continue putting our hope in God, and trusting our whole lives to Him. we need the strength to hold fast to Him. and our strength comes from none other than God Himself!

“God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” Psalms 73:26

“His strength is made perfect in our weakness..” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“The joy of the Lord is your strength” Nehemiah 8:10

(can i hear a big ‘Amen’ to that?) it’s so true, our strength comes from the Lord!

and so, even hoping in the Lord requires so much strength. pray for that strength! pray for the Spirit to come upon you so that you may be empowered. and keep hoping in the Lord. and here i am, exhorting the rest of you to hope, only because i have been taught that i too must hope in the Lord, even in a time when everything seems fuzzy.

—

MESSAGE 2: SOBERING UP AND PRAYFULNESS

and next. sobering up.

“So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled (sober)” 1 Thess 5:6

recently, i’ve heard much, especially from the mission’s team, about sobering up. beyond all the post-training card games, the bridge, the fantastic fellowship, there’s a need to be sober, and to be alert. does it mean no games, no fun at all? i doubt so, the meaning of soberness is much deeper, and we hope to explore that together.

first, there’s an incredible need, for every one of us, to be sure of our purpose in whatever we may be doing; and simple as it sounds, there is only one purpose that we can do anything for – the glory of God. it’s that simple, the bible puts it forward in the most direct of manners:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” Colossians 3:23

so for you all on the missions’ team; i do pray you’ll remember the one purpose for being there among the people of Khon Kaen – you are there to be a light to the nations, to be God’s tools, to be a channel of blessing that God can work through! – everything is for the glory of God. when you love someone – it’s to the glory of God because God commanded us to love one another. when you share the message of the gospel – it’s also to the glory of God.

Be on guard against thinking of the mission trip as a simple time for fellowship, or (even worse, God forbid) as a holiday with a difference. there will be a place for fellowship, but beyond all that, have a sober, focused mind, and remember your purpose. Also, watch against going on the mission trip just to justify your own spiritual well-being. stuff like ‘hey i’m going on the mission trip, i must be a real Godly person. wow.’ that would be doing things for yourself – not for God. truth is, you may go on the mission trip, and yet return as empty as you left.

—

and there’s a deeper meaning to soberness. we find that in 1 Thessalonians5:6, there is mention of the word ‘asleep’. When one is not sober, one is asleep – now, this brings another verse to mind (wow, so God-inspired, he just pointed the verse out to me. thank God)

“watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. the spirit is willing, but the body is weak” Mark 14:38

yes. to be sober also means to stand guard against sin and temptation! put on the armor of God and take care! stand guard for the devil is prowling nearby. Occupy the land that the Lord has given to you to possess (that land, is your own spiritual well-being, and also the well-being of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ). My dear brothers and sisters, we are entering the great spiritual battlefield! and the spiritual warfare begins not with attacking the devil’s territory, but with protecting the territory that the Lord has already endowed upon us! We must guard our own lives!

“Be self-controlled (sober) and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” 1 Peter 5:8

and what better way to guard our lives and remember our purpose than to keep praying! the greatest sin of this age is the sin of prayerlessness!

“God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you” 1 Sam 12:23

we have not prayed enough. my greatest sin, and all of ours, is that of prayerlessness. we find that most of our failures can be traced back to the lack of prayer. the lack of souls saved in ministry is usually the lack of prayer, and not the lack of preaching and trying. when we lack wisdom, it’s usually because we do not pray enough for wisdom or for guidance. when we fall into temptation, it is because we have not watched and prayed! such is the horrible sin of prayerlessness!

—

pray is fundamental. my dear brothers and sisters. don’t forget to pray and be sober. it’s the only we can keep ourselves from falling into the darkness. and i too need to pray more. and pray, whilst knowing that it’s not about how much we pray, it’s also about the heart behind that prayer, and at the very end, when God answers, we receive in humility. we do not receive in a manner which expects Him to give us what we were supposed to receive. because none of it was meant to be ours in the first place.

so pray. pray and watch God move the mountains. then give Him praise (:

—

MESSAGE 3: LAYING DOWN YOUR ISAAC

and finally, the last, but probably the most painful and the most intense message. about laying down your Isaac.

i found today, much to my surprise, as i was praying to God, an incredible yet simple revelation – let’s see if everyone can spot the pattern in the verses below:

“The Lord had said to Abram:”leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you (Abraham)” ” Gen 12:1

“then God said: “take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains i will tell you about” Gen 22:2

“the Lord our God said to us at Horeb. ” You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Break camp an advance into the hill country of the Amorites…” Deut 1:6

“So they (Simon Peter, John and James) pulled their boats up ton shore, left everything and followed him.” Luke 5:11

the pattern is this: when God calls people, it usually comes with a price. there is a price for believing in Jesus. Yes, grace and salvation comes freely, but there will come a time when God will demand more and more of us as we grow closer to Him. i’ve realised this – and i’ve said this before – that God loves to place His hands on things that mean a lot to You. not to torment you, but to test you and to know if you truly fear Him above all else.

for Abraham, it was his family and his son; for Moses, his life as a shepherd; for Simon Peter, his familiar life as a fisherman out at sea; for the Israelites the comforts of Horeb; for Jesus, it was His majesty in heaven.

And so. what is it for you? what has God called for you to leave behind? and have you left it behind…truly?

—

are you looking for a breakthrough in your life with God? does the Christian walk seem mundane, repetitive, and does it seem like you’ve reached a point where everything is just dull?

usually, the dullness is due to the fact that, maybe we haven’t done something God’s been wanting us to do for a long time. maybe we haven’t left that life of sin; maybe we haven’t obeyed him in something He’s told us to do – so He’s withholding from us the next step. Dullness may also be due to sin in our life, prayerlessness – in that case, repent and pray. Dullness, maybe also be because we haven’t truly let go of everything to follow Jesus.

well. first. it’s necessary to examine oneself. just a few weeks back i was struggling with prayerlessness, with a Christian walk that had become a little stagnant, personally i was quite afraid that i was backsliding. upon examination, God told me that there were still things in my life that had to be surrendered to Him – this despite the fact that i had previously thought that i had already given everything up. at first, i rationalized, but later, i learned to fear and obey Him

we too must be open to what God has to say, we must be ready to obey no matter what he says. Abraham left everything. He took his dad along at first, but God remained quiet till his dad had passed away and till Lot had gone off to Sodom. we must obey. and fear him.

—

are you still holding on to something dear? have you laid down your Isaac on the altar?

it could be anything, it could be the grades you’re chasing and putting high up on the pedestal; it could be the materialistic nature in you that leads you to crave after every commodity in the world; it may be a person you hold on dearly to; it may even be your ministry for God.

but until you’ve let go of everything to God. you will never understand what it is like to be truly liberated, to be truly joyful, and to be truly living a life for God. there is much joy in letting go. there is joy-mingled grief.

strangely. i’ve found it liberating. i thought it would be painful. it was. it made me cry. but later on, it made me realize a lot more about Christ. once you’ve let go of what is dear to you, God becomes dearest to you.  and you’ll love Him and search for Him with all your heart mind and soul. and that truly is liberating!

and why let go? because it was God’s in the first place wasn’t it? everything was made for His glory, and ought to be given back to Him. He is the God who gives and takes away. and we must remember that even after giving up that which means much to us, we must keep praising the Lord! keep blessing His name! keep being joyful! (:

—

it is the the discipline of self-denial that we must learn to master.

the truth is, when you hold on to something. it usually has a very subtle grip on you. something menacing which you not yet notice. but it is a place where the bad guys can gain a stronghold on you. all they need to do is manipulate that something to upset you, or discourage you. we cannot let our fervor for God be affected by something else!

once we have learned to deny ourselves of something or someone, we no longer are possessed by that person or that something, but we are possessed by God, and fully for His purpose and His glory. Such was Abraham, he was fully consecrated for God after that test of laying Isaac on the altar.

—

so come, take your Isaac, head up Moriah, and truly truly discover what it means to be free in Christ! (:

“”in the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple” Luke 16:33 

—

so that ends it. be blessed all. cya all (: Amen.

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Sunny Singapore (Part 5)

and we’ve finally arrived at the final day. The day of rest. The day of the dreaded return bus ride to bangkok. I’m finished yay!

Ping Pong
not the girl. the game. R&R time for (what else) rest. Took long to find something to do. Some went to Fairy Plaza, others went to sleep (Mr Khoo screamed at me!!), some went to dip in the (ice-cold) swimming pool and jumped out dancing comically and I went to the hotel piano with Tim Liang only to be chased away. So I decided to pay the table tennis table a visit.

Sorely under-practiced, I picked up the bat in classic Korean attacking style – the pencil grip – and pitted myself against people far past my calibre (most notably Daryl, who packs a large smashing punch). They consoled me, but who plays for consolation. (Daryl was table tennis king, even Charles succumbed to the maniacal laughter)

Eventually, I reclined to the newbie table, and Wes and I played one another, barely making it past 4 returns every serve. Yang Jian and Desmond completed the newbie quartet later on. And we went on to gain experience and level up together. By the end of the (close to four hour) session, we were smashing, and playing more like proper table tennis players.

The dancers behind us had a great time dodging our misplaced shots, and were always politely (though one could tell they were annoyed) picking up and returning our balls.

well. we had fun. and next was the much awaited bus ride back.

GrassLand Xpress
well, it wasn’t that good. But the bus ride was much better compared to the previous one. Reclining seats, and less cold aircon meant that we could get some shuteye (arguably, it might have been due to sheer exhaustion, or overdose of ping pong). Next to the very warm Mr Azmi, I slept quite perfectly that night.

only to awake in Bustling Bangkok (wow. Amazing alliteration!)

Bustling Bangkok
the atmosphere there was worlds apart from the suburban Khon Kaen city. Cars, Carbon Monoxide, Crowds, the whole ruckus one would expect from a modern city. Flyovers, road signs, felt like Singapore, but with many more people, and lots more noise.

the hotel was a little eerie (I must confess). The long corridors and all were enough to unnerve me even in broad daylight (more so in the night). As Alf (yes…my beloved roommate who I have yet to mentioned) and I prayed over the room, I felt a strange feeling of peace from the Lord. Great, at least God was there, and it made all the difference.

and we crashed a suite that morning – a suite which we had not booked in advance. We did get reprimanded later…:P. But well.

(I’ll make this short…dinner beckons)

MBK
the much awaited MBK shopping mall. It was quite large (hints of VivoCity!), and quite crowded, and they used coupons for eating.

The main highlight was the movie Eragorn – which in my opinion, aside from being a close adaptation (putting it very nicely) of LOTR – wasn’t too bad. At least there were fire-breathing dragons and pretty faces. And at least there were practical lessons learnt: Heros are chosen not for their appearance but for their hearts!

Shopping for 2 hours didn’t yield much – but there were many things going for unspeakable prices (to begin with, the movie had cost S$4). And of course there was Jun Wei continually pointing out to me the women who were not actually women (right here, I expect most people to understand what I’m talking about – except those squeaky clean innocent ones).

and we had to go back for a meeting with Auntie Dorothy.

(I’m posting so scrappily now…)

Auntie Dorothy
the donuts were tasty.

we shared our reflections for the trip with Auntie Dorothy that afternoon. I remembering sharing that this had been a trip of definitions. Of seeking God for the answer to what was ‘desperation’, and what was ‘love’ and ‘compassion’. Up till now I’m still seeking, and perhaps I’ve discovered a little, but there’s a lot more to go – while on earth we will never see the complete picture, but when Jesus returns…hoho.

It was then I felt the call to ministry in Thailand. But it might have been just an impression, not a Spirit-given one. And such impressions are hard to discern, and that’s why prayer is essential.

Please speak to me God.

Mr Azmi went strange at that point in time.

Mr Azmi’s Silence
He was strangely silent, squatting in the corner outside his hotel room. The usually bubbly Mr Azmi sad-faced and troubled was not a pretty sight. Suddenly, he grew quiet, introvertive and closed up. Something was up. I thank God that He managed to lend a listening ear through me. Not my glory but God’s.

Still remember that talk from the roadside mee stall, to my hotel room (with Alf snoozing at one corner), and finally to Kenneth’s room for fried banana pancakes (of which i had a fifth – of a pancake) and bridge (of which I had none owing to the handiwork of the sandman).

I vaguely remember waking at 3 am and taking a slow and melodramatic walk back to my hotel room, jittering, shivering (with fear and because of the cold). I prayed with every step, it was eerie at the time in the night. Thank God.

Though I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I will not be afraid

Departure (Cya!)
And finally, to sum it up, a visit to the Bangkok airport, where taking Thai airlines meant first priority and everything went smoothly. It was a time for final photograph taking, and Jun Wei was out to capture everyone at least once (Ms Gao proved to be a tough nut – with a newpaper roll in hand, watching and covering at the right moments).

Last minute Duty Free shopping. Daryl picks up a couple of Liquer bottles (Bailey’s), Alf picks up a wallet, and that was about it. Thai airlines back. Maggi mee for airplane food – again.

And that brings us back to the first post: where the plane landed and I saw Shaggy 🙂

and that sums it up. The reflections and all span through all 5 parts 🙂 but to sum it up in a few words:

God has really opened our eyes to the world around us, allowing us to feel His heart for the people and His compassion for those who are in darkness. And having felt this – to have a passion to reach out, love and serve these people, for His glory.

But to feel His heartbeat, we have to draw near, to abide in Him, and to be with Him. The longer we spend in communion with Him, the closer we’ll draw to His heart. And so – the call is to “Be Still and know that He is God.”

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Prayer for the Nation (Part 4)

(Previously, the dedication ceremony came to a close as Tim struggled with a low point of his mission trip stint. What was to come next?)

Slum Visitation
This was simply one of the most meaningful 2 hours of our lives. As Imm’s (undoubtedbly one of our favourtie Ajarns) van steered to a halt, we alighted at the doorstep of a KKCS girl’s home. There had just been a Buddhist funeral – her grandfather had passed away – and an atmosphere of sorrow hung in the area. With the help of the Ajarns’ translation, we struck off a conversation.

The main aim of the slum visitation was to bless – whatever little blessing we could give in that short few hours. We asked for prayer needs, and Mr Charles Ng signaled for me to pray for the family. Thinking back, I couldn’t find the words, it was different praying with a translator beside you, and inwardly I asked God to give me the words. We prayed for joy, for the mourning to turn into dancing, for health, and for the saving grace of God. I opened my eyes to see the girl (of 12 or so) welling up in tears. It was inexplainable, and at that point I felt that sorrow, that pain, and prayed that it would go away in God’s time.

I wished I had hugged her, but the most I could do was to ask her to cheer up.

We proceeded with many other homes, stopping by students’ houses to pray for every single one. Each home had different needs, but the common need was the need for Jesus, and the need for mending of broken hearts. At one home we witnessed the acceptance of Christ by a old woman, at another we prayed for a girl who had lost her ability to walk, and yet at another we prayed for healing of back pain. Simple things like this opened our eyes up to the bigger world, and put a burden in our heart.

We wanted to stay longer. We would have even liked to stay for the night. But time was short. Empitiness, a void within my heart.

Your Love Is Warmer
And that night we rehearsed again for the Christmas concert item (the christmas concert was the next day!!!) – an item that was conceived about a fortnight back. A medley of ‘His Love is Warmer’ and ‘Therefore, Being Justified by Faith’, sang in both English and Thai – with actions.

And the actions took a long time to conjure up – I bore much of the humiliation being the first to demonstrate the actions whilst Wes was doing his thing with the guitar. Many laughs on the debut, more on the solo part (which was graciously taken up by Mr Charles Ng and Mr Azmi later – Go OxBridge!). Thai lyrics were a toughie, and we tried to the best of our ability – I guess it’s the heart that counts.

And so as one mission team we did the actions together, the singers belting out but slipping now and then to the tongue-twister-lyrics. many smiles, much joy, we hoped the Thai people would know such joy as well.

Christmas Concert
I led worship that morning. Was quite touched by God during that time
Into Your courts we come, Deep in our hearts we long to be near to the throne of Your glory
Hungry I run to You for I know you satisfy
We lift our voices, we lift our hands, we are an offering

Sticky Rice
Yes, preparation for the Christmas concert, we were employed to help with chair arrangements and other tasks. I served in the kitchen 🙂 packing sticky rice into little packets. Boy, was the rice hot, and our (Was there with Desmond, Mr Alvin Tan – a different one, Yang Jian) hands burnt. The Ajarn just smiled at us assuringly 🙂

Mr Azmi ate 7 Chillis and amused the whole lot of us – faced stuffed with sticky rice, veges and papaya :). Ping Pong (our fellow chilli-plucker), and Ajarn Hanifar were among those left in stitchs :).

Before the Act
No one can forget the fast that happened that afternoon, where we all went on a spiritual high, sang ‘Give us clean hands’ in desperation, and pleaded with God for salvation. Later on, from Gareth, I found out that this was one of the less prayerful mission trips, in terms of coporate prayer. Perhaps God had different purposes for this mission trip.

Well, we eventually went down to KKCS for the awaited Christmas concert. Before our item, we went about praying in for the concert, and for the peoples’ salvation. The chairs were all layed out (yes…tiresomely, by us, that afternoon), and the ground was ready for sowing, we simply prayed that God would move that night.

Of course, we (meaning the guys) were again swarmed for ‘tai luk’, photo taking. I did get my share of photo requests – haha, how ego-boosting – but God reminded me that He looked at the heart and not at the outward appearance, so I remembered not to be too engrossed in the whole photo-taking issue – though admittingly, it does make one feel happier (happier, not more joyful).

Show Time
So the guitar went off, an improvised spontaneous solo by Wesley. Screams were heard.

Whilst Wes was entertained the cries of his fan club, we went off to singing and dancing. Not surprisingly I was the front man of the dancers, it was nerve-wrecking, but we kept the smiles on our faces, and enjoyed ourselves on stage, danced and sang for God and not for men!

I think I ruined my image. But well. God’s glory not mine 🙂

Shine Jesus Shine
Shine Jesus Shine, Fill this land with the Father’s glory!
Wes, Gareth and I sang this as a prayer as Watchman Loh went up to give his testimony and the subsequent altar call. Unshamedbly singing.

Later, the ushers were called up (that included us) to usher (what else?) the people who had responded to the altar call to a room where we would pray for them. I found myself with a guy who reeked of alcohol. He was a Christian, but one with an apparent drinking problem. I tried to ask for prayer needs with the help of Mr Cheong, but in the end, we decided that he was too drunk to be taken seriously.

I did pray for one boy though – Jim-my, or something close to that, was his name. A little boy of Grade 1 or 2, innocently responded to the altar call. He asked that we pray for love, and his family, and that he would feel loved. It was a touching prayer request, I was speechless for a moment as I realised that he had such a simple, innocent yet deep request – one that only God could provide. Well, we prayed, and I do hope God answers.

Reluctance
Summed up in a word, we were reluctant to leave that night. Many more photos, many more goodbyes, many more nostalgic feelings, many more smiles, hugs and tears. I too felt a strange longing to be in that school, a strange passion for that school – looking back, it probably wasn’t ‘strange’, but God-given. I often wonder, when Jesus left earth, did He too feel a strange sense of longing – did He wish He could stay longer beside his disciples. Well, we’ll ask Him in heaven.

Of course, because of our deli-dali (if I might use that word), Mr Charles Ng went cranky again. It kind of ruined the night. But not completely, there was still the joy that came from the whole concert 🙂

Day of Rest
A more relaxed atmosphere the next day. We took time off individually to rest in God and to rest in each others’ fellowship. The major events were finally over, and there was even some R&R that day.

But first, the church service at Khon Kaen Church. Fortunately I sat next to a Thai-married-to-a-Singaporean woman who translated graciously for the people sitting around her. The sermon was about material needs versus spiritual needs, a very fundamental principle in Christianity, but one that we should always revise. Songs and greetings were all in Thai, but for the upteen time, there wasn’t any language barrier with God :).

Post service I remembered Ping and the sweetest thing she ever did that whole mission trip – gave me a tapioca puff, and I pushed aside all dieting tendencies and ate it. It was so much sweeter simply because it was a gift of love 🙂 awww.

(and that ends this part, the next will probs be the last – hopefully)

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Give Thanks (Part 3)

(And we left off on the final lesson of Day 4, things will – hopefully – start to speed up from here, lest my stamina fail me)

The Vips Arrive
And with them came a strange change in atmosphere. They went to the family center to witness the intense derusting and wall washing processes (yes, need I mention that morning was filled with equally intense scrubbing of moss off the walls – most fufilling. This was followed by a white wash and bright green pastel paints – yay), whilst we – at KKCS, remained there and never returned to the family center (I had really wanted to return to bid farewell to the lovely children, but the opportunity never came, but prayer can make up for all distances, fortunately).

And to accompany the change in atmosphere – a most fitting dinner at the 5 star Sofitel hotel, where we gorged ourselves silly with a grand buffet dinner – not short of oysters, caesar’s salad, sushi and lots of other ‘good stuff’. What a violent contrast to the poverty that the slum people lived in.

There was a certain sense of guilt – why should we be in comfort while others were suffering? Should we not share in their suffering. A moment of epiphany – was this mission trip turning into a mere Christian vacation…? It was a question I could never resolve – but even as I entertained the thoughts, more and more sumptious food slipped into my bottomless belly (a questionable comment – since many consider me anorexic)

And the night went by swiftly.

Oh. The Horrid Cap!
A comment most likely to be made by Wesley. Yes, the next day involved us getting decked into our spanking new Primer uniforms! With Tim Toh, Tim Liang, Russ and LeeYang drooling in envy, we put on our lighter, whiter and less complicated uniforms – with much glee. Upon being asked what we would like to be called (having put on our new uniforms), Wesley responded with a very strange ‘Power Rangers’. And so we were rangers for a day!

I tried to avoid the cap, as a rule of thumb, all BB boys try to avoid putting the cap on. For one, it makes one look like a milkmaid, for another, it completely messes up the hairdo. Vanity aside, it is quite irritating :). Wesley couldn’t agree more, and so he grimaced as we pushed him to put on the cap. But at the critical moment, I saved him (perhaps it was just pity…hehe). Lee Yang was without a cap, and I suggested that Wesley lend him his cap. As a very caring and self-sacrificial senior (no saracasm intended…), Wesley passed his cap over.

And so while Wes felt the wind through his hair, the rest of us entered the gates of KKCS with abnormal headgear.

Give Thanks With a Grateful Heart
Having been given Christmas cards for each teacher, we proceeded spreading the christmas joy. I found my teacher in the Grade 1 classroom, and went forth with God’s confidence and prayed for her, in front of the whole class – who were staring wide-eyed and amazed, probably thinking ‘Who is this strange person – with the strange cap?‘ The rest also got off to their respective teachers.

The dedication ceremony went smoothly, Wes and I looked upon the exhibition boards with much pride – yes the nails were hammered in painstakingly by us (actually, thank God). Well, translation from Thai to English and back again extended the ceremony. And Dr Ong was a little too much – The translator (Ajarn Songsri) was visually having a hard time with those long and endless sentences, peppered with false stops and pauses.

It was a meaningful time. The choir sang beautifully, and the presence of God was truly ushered into the place. As the choir sang, the breeze grew in strength, and we were ministered to by the wind, through the gentle whispering wind. Beautiful. They sang ‘Give thanks’ in Thai, but language was again no barrier where there was God.

And the message was fitting – build buildings to build up people! Building up people is one of God’s main purposes – to change people into Christ’s likeness! If a building does not serve it’s purpose, it will collapse when the time of judgement comes.

The service ended with a crazy photo taking session. Wesley, again, being the main target. Admittedly, I did look on with disappointment, and the devil discouraged me with such sadness. It was strange that I wanted the attention, that I wanted to be welcome, and couldn’t find it. Yet God told me to ‘Flee from the evil desires of youth‘. I sought photos, found none, and found God’s assurance. It was a low-point for me, but a high point following God’s assurance. Thank God that He kept me from envy and jealously.

Thank God…Give thanks

(will be continued…note the word ‘will’)

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Christmas in Thailand (Part 2)

(this might just be the only part 2 I’ve ever composed…but well…experiences are tough to forget)

More Teaching, Painting, and (oh noes) Derusting
Mr Charles Ng returned to normal the next day, overjoyed, the Sec 4s had yet another rendezvous (oh the love I have for that word) and gave thanks to God. Yes, he returned to the usual bubbly personality, and the occasional greeting of ‘How are you (insert name here).

Again, I was one of those who stayed behind for teaching. Well, (un)fortunately there wasn’t teaching to be done that day, we were tasked with creating some exhibition boards for a dedication ceremony in two days. It was an exhibition for reflection and remembrance – some thirty photos were to be displayed – a reminder of God’s work in Thailand for the past 10 years.

The girls proceeded to the designs and frilly things – John was at teaching, Wesley and I effectively excommunicated. The gender distinction was clear, and we proceeded with the tough ‘male’ things – this included procuring (yes in Mr Charles’ language) the three wooden boards, shifting them down from the third to second story (I assure you it was difficult); Also, we had to find and hammer nails into the top two corners of each board. That was the fun part.

Hammers and Nails – Caveman style
There were no nails in sight, no hammers in sight, just debris. Fortunately, God created ‘innovative spirit’ in men, and Wesley obtained a makeshift hammer – a brick – and he beamed as he held it up in his hand. I just gave him the ‘ok…’ look.

We found used nails, stuck in other strange blocks of wood. And with much determination, strength, and sheer grace of God, proceeded to extract them as a dentist does with teeth, except with our bare hands. It was painful, Wes was dripping (with perspiration), I was just tired. But we managed to get the nails nevertheless, and pounded them in with the ‘hammer’.

We did get a real hammer later, the boys from KKCS were so helpful! Thank you! But I guess it was fun remembering how tough it was without one.

Soybean milk and mentos
One comment I could never shrug off myself was Wesley mentioning the estrogen content of soybean milk – of course at the most apt moment: when I was about to take a sip. Myth or fact? You decide. Of course, when one mentions that mentos can cause impotency, then one’s credibility becomes extremely questionable. How can innocent harmless little sweets, the joy of so many children cause such a disaster? well, I drank and ate merrily anyway 🙂

Family Center Joy
Well, we left the girls to their fancy business – Fui, Jess and Ms Gao would have little problems – and proceeded to the family center for more painting and derusting. I had the honor of derusting next to Daryl, who boasted extendedly about his 30cm by 60com frame that was ‘beautifully derusted’. Of course, it took him half a day, and there were about 50 similar frames 🙂 Eva was most pleased, at least it brought comic relief.

Did I mention singing with Mr Charles Ng and Eva and the rest of the gang who stood in a straight line derusting? We sang to the rhythm of derusting, sang of the searing sun that bore down upon us, and sang many praises to God. Well that passed the time :D.

Painting on the front fence begun. We took half a day to paint half a fence. Great, we rejoiced, only to hear from afar, the sound of a spray paint gun – which subsequently took 20 minutes to achieve the same (apparent) feat. We exchanged blank looks. well.

Lee Yang and Daryl and the Dog
We decided to go for a walk in the slum area. Well there wasn’t much to see, except the poor state in which the people lived. Compassion welled up where empathy was impossible. We moved on, praying as we went. In all honesty – even compassion was difficult to feel, perhaps our hearts had been hardened by our privileged lives. but at that moment, I prayed that I could look at the people through eyes of Jesus, and feel for them. And love them. I prayed and faithfully waited.

We met a little black puppy later on. Daryl was most excited by the puppy – fondling it, carrying it, teasing it, and mentioning it’s striking resemblance of Lee Yang.

Catching and Magic Tricks
We returned to find the slum children running riot throughout the whole family center – the natural response was simply to join them in their little fun. We all did in our own ways. Mr Charles Ng entertained with his umbrella, the children doing a merry go round with it, later, he proceeded to perform a ‘leaf-disappearing’ magic trick, that almost left his pants pulled down (much to his surprise – yes the children wanted to search him for the missing leaf). The children were intelligent enough to see through his trickery 🙂

Me? I went for good-old catching. The thai boy ‘Moi’ ran and ran and hid and hid. John and I chased, and (well) intentionally failed. But it was fun, and it was so rewarding to see the smiles on their faces, and to see that love was conveyed through that little session of play-time. The joy of the Lord was present, and we all felt it – all through that whole night 🙂 full of praises. wow.

The Desperate Fast
Fasting is all about mourning – mourning for a bridegroom, that is Jesus, who has left the earth and will return again, mourning for the city of Khon Kaen. That night was declared a fast, and we prayed that God would prepare our hearts. Prayer was all about desperation, were we desperate enough, and were we close enough to God’s heart? Would our prayers be heard and answered?

I remember entering the prayer room to crying. Tears of joy and tears of weeping, both intermingling with each other. It took sometime to settle into the presence of God, but that night was about being still, and being close to God. I felt prompted to Isaiah 9 :

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

It was a verse of hope, I felt, for Khon Kaen, God would remember Khon Kaen, it was just a matter of time. Also, it was a reminder of that true meaning of Christmas, which drew ever so near…

That night was also the affirmation of my brother (in Christ) Mr Jonas Chow, who was called to full-time ministry. As he wept we prayed prayers of comfort and of hope, and that night marked a night of silence before God. Intercession required desperation, and many of us searched our hearts for intercession that night, seeking and seeking. We had a time where we asked God for our convictions once again, and affirmed them before Him.

Feed my lambs

Bye Eva and SweeKim!
The GB duo left us the next morning…it was a little saddening as I recalled it, they had been bottles of joy. Eva was most sweet with her alto harmonies had her eccentric laughter – she was also my angel (yes…never complete without angel and mortal…:P), and truly I was grateful for all those lovely messages that came my way. Miss ya sista!

We waved goodbye as they purchased tickets for the busride to Bangkok (actually, we wished them a pleasant sleep on the bus…they needed all of God’s grace to pull through..haha)

Final Lesson – Awwww
It was meant to be a lesson observation, but somehow Dr Ong was unable to make it for our lesson, perhaps it was a better thing. Well, essentially, this lesson was similar to the previous one, except we knew them just a little better than previously – and we were teaching different letters.
We ended off with a little ball-rolling game – roll a ball to hit a letter placard and then pronounce the letter – yep simple as that, and you get a sweet as well 🙂 It was a little disappointing that many couldn’t get it, but the girls were the beacon of hope – acing it every single time they went up. Wes and Jes’ students were able to pronounce whole words (like motorcyle and leaf), ours couldn’t even get the letters…well, they did have more girls!! haha.

Distributing sweets is not something you want to do in Thailand, they rush, it’s a mad rush, worst than Singaporeans rushing at free stuff. Well that was quite an unforgettable experience, I do hope they shared the sweets in a gentlemanly and ladylike fashion – though I think not :P. It really showed how much they appreciated the little things in life, and how much need they lived in – treasuring every single sweet. makes you wonder – how we waste things – it really is terrible.

And I shall end on this note – to be continued in 2 days 😀 I promise

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Clean Hands and Pure Hearts

And so, Tim has returned. 9 days in Thailand and I’m finally back – a changed person definitely, with many new memories (oh, what an oxymoron) imprinted on the palette of my mind. The various colors of Khon Kaen swishing and swashing about, painting a bright picture – a picture of new passion and hope. Vivid memories ensue, as I unpacked my baggage at home, and thankfully, I brought a piece of Khon Kaen home with me.

On the 10th of December, I composed an email to Ding, a portion in it mentioning that (in a great coincidence) I would be off to Thailand and returning on the 19th. I never got the reply email, but saw him earnestly and faithfully waiting for me at the arrival gate on the last day – albeit a little larger (the American air, we believe) and with hair plastered down in a (contrary to Ding) messy fashion. It seemed an ironic twist of events (Had I said previously that I would wait for him at the airport on the 19th?). It was a great joy to see him there, still ding at the heart. 🙂

but enough. I’m jumping way ahead of the story. No one reads a book from the back to front, and so I shall follow that social standard of normalcy.

Travel Troubles
On the 10th, we departed, arriving at (insert long Thai name here) Bangkok airport. A short 3 hour flight, in great contrast with the 6 hour bus ride that greeted us at the airport. Squashed within an unthinkable (here I mean tiny) amount of leg room, with my bag, and Mr Chow’s guitar upon my lap, I proceeded to getting some shut-eye. It was tough – given the bumpy road, the little room, and the gradual numbing of my pin-and-needles legs – but eventually, fatigue gave in as the clock approached 4 in the morning. I slept. But only a little. Rather, it was a semi-state of sleep.

Resting in God – Being Still
Arriving on the 11th with little sleep, and a whole day of activity ahead of us was not the best way to start. But we were graciously granted some time for rest, and rest in God (Yes, there must be a clear distinction here). One hour of quiet time a day was the given standard, it was difficult, but as Mr Charles Ng mentioned, it was only the ones who treasured this quiet time with God that would experience God and grow in this mission trip.

Spiritually, God chose to speak quietly this trip. And we found Him preferring a still small voice (don’t we always find Him that way?) in place of anything radical.

Psalms 46: ‘Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted in all the earth’

Such powerful words from our Lord. God longs for us to acknowledge Him as God – this includes surrendering our whole being to Him, realising that He is everything and we are nothing (sigh…the essence of humility). Being still, beholding His presence, understanding His silence and His love. More importantly, to know that He is God. It is something great to be grasped. Something powerful. and something which I have yet to fully understand.

First Contact
We visited the school for the first time (at least it was the first time for me). Met the very warm Ajarn Songsri – the principal of Khon Kaen Christian School (KKCS for short). The building was painted in (royal?) purple and yellow – the 2 year old paint starting to peel at parts, but more of less achieving its purpose of brightening up the old school building. The new school building still in progress, 3 stories high but lacking a roof – the current roof being a rough framework (interestingly, one individual felt a close resemblance to suntec city). Other areas of the school was painted in red, blue and yellow strips, a rather good effort at bringing out the ACSian colors, but many felt it made the school look like a temple. Nevertheless, the outside rarely matters more that what is within.

KKCS is a school for students from Nursery to Secondary 3 (otherwise known as Grade 9). Unfortunately (or fortunately), the students were not present on that day – owing to the fact that it was a public holiday. We sat around and did little, visiting the rooftop – where Mr Charles Ng spoke about the importance of replanting the gospel into our hearts, of rethinking the wretched state of man, the infinte justice of God, and the infinite mercy of God (mercy triumphing over justice). Justin also shared his inspiring visit to heaven and quiet conversation with Jesus. How touching to gaze upon Khon Kaen from three stories above.

We were greeted by the various teachers (or Ajarns), and were received with a sumptious meal (it was lunchtime). The warmth and hospitality was something to remember. The language barrier being overcome by acts of love, and of course – our substandard Thai (or whatever little we knew in Thai). It felt a little uncomfortable, but still, love prevailed. Not to mention, I was starting to feel overfed, as serving after serving of rice came. Later I learnt the secret was to say Pom imm leow khrap – ‘I am full’. Yes. Most important phrase in Thailand (Arguably, the most important phrase could also be Hong nam yu tee nai khrap? – ‘Where is the toilet?’ – yes Wesley)

Prayer Walk
Then came the prayer walk. A whole new concept to me. But we were referred to the Israelite’s conquering of Jericho, where they marched around the city and praised God for seven days before the walls fell down. As such, during the prayer walk, it was important that we prayed to bless, and prayed to glorify and praise God, staying spiritually sensitive to things around us, praying when we felt the need to. Also, it was a prayer to break down barriers, and open the hearts of men.

We were led to several places, and I still recall vividly, how we were led.

The Canteen (‘Feed my Lambs‘) – here it was a prayer for the sustenance of the students and the teachers. Also a short prayer for students to be free from any baggage or bondages from the past (inspired by the presence of ropes). There was a nagging need felt in the canteen, though we could not pin it down.

Grade 8 Classroom – Daryl felt led here. A prayer for the students that they will be brought up with the right moral values (Fui mentioned that many girls nowadays determine their value by the number of boys who liked them), with Christian values. Lee Yang was led to Daniel 5 – the judgement of Belshazzar – the desecration of God’s temple. That was a scary prospect, we brought it up later at the debrief. Lee Yang’s image of tangled string.

School Field – A half-barren field. We prayed for growth of the school, for discipleship, and felt that though elements for growth (sunshine, water and soil) were present, there was something that was missing. The sprinklers led Daryl to picture a river of life that could once again restore growth in the land.

At a later debrief, the various groups gave a summary of that things that were felt during the prayer walk. Fear ensued for a moment – there were feelings of judgement, Haggai 1 came to my mind, and there was the worrying passage from Daniel 5. However, after much prayer, it was felt that God’s presence still dwelled in the school, and God’s favor was very much upon the school. We were told to focus on the love and compassion of God on the children of the school and not focus overly on judgement. That was what I chose to do, though the talk of judgement was strangely worrying, and not something to be dismissed so simply.

Cranky (Mr) Charles
And it was such possibilities, coupled with the stress of being team leader, and having to make everything tick according to schedule that caused the usually jovial Mr Charles Ng to turn cranky. Other than the occasional winks of the eye, he was painfully silent, and sometimes chose to (oddly) ignore us when we spoke to him. Crankiness. The Sec 4s all felt it. And we knew we had to pray. But that, I will come back to later.

Turning Point
That night, my life was changed. In a brief moment we were told that only 3 more boys could go and teach the next day, and the rest would have to go the the family center to do painting. Priority was given to the NYAA boys – the Sec 4s. We were shocked – what justified the priority? Surely not a mere NYAA award. For a moment we were lost. There were five Sec 4 boys, two would have to be left behind. No one wanted to raise his hand, for fear of disappointing the rest.

But Kenneth raised his hand. And I followed, upon remember the words that God had spoken to me a feel days back ‘Feed my lambs‘. I felt called, and that was it, i made the decision. It seemed selfish, but I decided to pray over it. The last person to volunteer was John. In retrospect, it was a painful choice, seeing the many Year 5s who wanted to go and meet up with their former students in the school (Gareth and Justin mainly). Painful. But it changed my life.

百年树人: Teaching
We were off to teaching in KKCS the next day. Mr Kan gave a briefing, we prepared the materials. Of course there was a rather humorous encounter between Mr Kan and Ms Gao as some of us would remember. Ms Gao preferred rest to teaching – in the end, Mr Kan, gentlemanly as he was, relented. I was given the daunting task of teaching a class of 17, thankfully Fui would be there to help me. Wes (Kenneth gave up his place) and Jes, John and Mr Kan would also be teaching a group of students.

As we entered the school, the students greeted us warmly. Perhaps a little too warmly. To quote Mr Jonathan Ng, we were like Hollywood stars. If that were so, Wesley would have been the main star, he was swarmed by the Grade 7 to 9 girls. Sounds of ‘Sawatdii ka‘ (the thai greeting), ‘Khun chi arai ka?‘ (what is your name?) rung in the air. And how about me? I stayed in the background, little attention. Perhaps it was my looks, perhaps it was just the presence of Wesley. There wasn’t jealously, but there was a tinge of disappointment. I shrugged it aside though, and focused on what was ahead.

Camping in Mr Evan Yap’s little room, Ms Gao gave us a crash course on teaching, and we had several practice runs, and drew little pictures on our whiteboards. Learnt a little more thai. Otherwise, we simply rested ourselves for the task to come.

The lessons focused on phonetics, the KKCS students recognized letters, but they were unsure of the sounds. And so our lessons were filled with:

‘K. K sounds like (siang men) Ke. Ke. Ke.”
‘L. L sounds like (siang men) Le. Le. Le.”
‘Khao jai mai khrap?’ (Do you understand?)
*insert blank look*

And every few moments:
‘Nong long! Nong long khrap!‘ (desperate cry for children to sit down and pay attention)

I think I lost my voice after the lesson. Controlling a bunch of hyperactive thai students was no piece of cake – not to mention we had the majority of boys (yes boys were harder to control, and girls were stereotypically smart – sorry to say guys). And when we produced sweets to reward them, upon seeing the sweets in our hands, even the girls went wild, we were swarmed, and hopelessly lost control.

And before I make the lesson sound like a tragedy, it was acutally really fun, and really rewarding, the students were really cute at times (no. I’m no pedophile…please). We hoped to build up simple relationships with them – relationships that would be built up in the years to come.

Short term mission trips with a long commitment.

We left for the family center thereafter.

Fe2O3 – Derusting Family Center
Auntie Dorothy – whose late husband Gerald Khoo founded the Gerald Khoo Foundation, was part of the team who pioneered a family center in the midst of the slum area. Using a millionaire’s former mansion (obviously, the mansion in the middle of the slum was not prime property, so they got their hands on it), they created a family center for people of the slum to go to for aid – or simply for company and some joy.

We were tasked to paint the family center and make a it little more jolly. Unfortuanately, painting was not the only thing on the agenda, we also had to de-rust. Oh that horrid word – Derusting!! A gate went around the whole mansion, a gate that bore the many scars of time, and we first had to use sandpaper to smoothen the rusted surfaces before paint could be applied. That alone was a draining task. And though we tried to do it with a joyful heart, it was difficult, given the sheer size of the job.

Donning straw hats, we proceeded with derusting. Gloves were stained brown, shirts were splattered with green paint (thankfully, we started to paint the front gate) and peppered with rusty bits of metal. Dirty job, but someone had to do it. And we did it with the slum people in mind, hopefully they will be blessed through the bright new colors of the family center.

The family center – a beacon of joy in the slum area, a refuge for the lost, and a ministry of love that will hopefully help to spread the message of salvation as well. It was all worthwhile.

We left with the job unfinished – but it didn’t matter – we would come back for another 2 days to finish the job.

Pregnant Python
We returned to KKCS – this time with the whole group – to a welcome ceremony organized by the school. Again, we met up with the teachers, and tried to strike up conversations with them. Fortunately, a not-so-bad translator sat at our table – one of the Ajarns – and so we proceeded to learn more Thai words (like chopstick, and song, and others…)

Coloured cloths (pardon me I forgot the Thai name) that were characteristic of the Isaan (NE) regoin of Thailand were tied around our waists (was it to accentuate the bulk of it?) to welcome us. The cloth would become my very good friend – my trusty scarf – for the rest of the trip :), as most of the mission trip team would fondly remember.

We ate pregnant python (sausages actually – but Watchman Loh decided to call it something more exotic), beef noodles, and were further welcomed by the coconut dances and the song performances.

And then in quite rude a fashion, some of us left for networking – that is meeting up with the community of people in Khon Kaen who were all working for the same purpose in Khon Kaen – thereby expanding the network of people striving for the common purpose in Khon Kaen.

Networking
Fun ride to YWAM, I must confess. We sat at the back of a jeep-like vehicle, unsheltered and travelling at a rather high speed on the highway. Fui describing it as how the construction workers would feel – as our hair battered our freezing faces – the wind swiftly blowing.

It was a Thai service at YWAM. Thai preaching and Thai songs. We arrived late for the service, in fact, it was already the conclusion – albeit a rather long conclusion. As I recall – the Thai version of ‘The Power of Your Love’ was sung, and though there was (again) a language barrier, God’s presence had no barrier, and everyone felt His strong commanding presence during the session, as we sung our hearts out and worshipped Him.

Sec 4 Rendezvous
Returning to the hotel, we had the daily session of worship and word, after which the Sec 4s met up for a little chat, and voiced our feelings for the past few days. A rather light chat, but many issues were brought up. And we prayed for Mr Charles Ng to be back to normal, talked about the painful selection of who would teach on the first night, and shared our experiences for the day.

Wesley shared how on the first night, he had been disappointed not to teach, as he had not raised his hand. He was confused and so prayed that if God wanted him to teach, God would offer him a miracle. At the same time, Kenneth shared that he was praying on the first night, only to find that he was not fit for the job (owing to lack of patience – among reasons), and so the next day he decided to give up his place – to wesley. The prayers were answered, what a miracle.

And so why did Kenneth put up his hand that night, well, one of the purposes – was that it led to me plucking up the courage to raise mine, otherwise the opportunity to teach might have been opened to the entire floor, and snapped up quickly by the rest. God was working – no doubt.

That concluded the second day. I vaguely remember falling asleep owing to fatigue.

And that concludes this post. Will continue this another time. Too many blessings, too little time to post.

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Pre Khon Kaen Reflections: Training (Part 1)

And so. Now we reflect on the past week, a hectic week, a week of irony. Resting in God, being refreshed spiritually, but physically, we’ve been really tired. Of course, much to Mr Charles Ng’s delight, the midnight and afternoon tea sessions have served their perking-up purposes :). And yes, I am a tea-lover, not really one for coffee 🙂

Mission trip training has truly been a delight. Fellowship with God has really been brought to a new level. Really, in all this tiring training, I’ve sought to rekindle that flame with Him, and to rediscover the reason of serving Him, to find meaning in this which I am doing. Asking God for His presence, and for His assuring word – I’ve realised, that ultimately, through all this seeking, God hopes only to bring us closer to Him. It’s the giver, not the gift, that matters (remember that this Christmas!)

Convictions. Perhaps something that I wasn’t sure of at the beginning. Was it my desire to go to Thailand? Or God’s desire. I prayed the prayer of Isaiah “Here I am, Send me”, and waited. That was months back. But having been strongly encouraged by the people around me, I felt that perhaps God was speaking to me through circumstance, and not only circumstance, but that burden for children, that love for children, and those in need. The greatest call for a Christian is to love those around him.

And another time, the Lord assured me of His protection. It was in psalms. ‘the Lord is our fortress’. It happened twice, the same line appearing again when I asked for a second conviction and assurance. And I felt peace in my heart after that.

Today, Mr Ng asked us again to ask for a word. And as I reflected and thought, though it was a short time into the prayer, it was the clearest I felt, the Lord ever spoke. It was strange. I thought of how one of the prophets felt God through the gentle wind, and felt His comforting presence. And at that very moment, the words appeared in my head.

Feed My Lambs.

It was strange and sudden. And I said ‘Yes’, quite immediately, with little thought (in restrospect), it was a great commitment, this ‘yes’. And I do hope the Lord sees me through. As such, the command is to love, and to love those in the team, as well as those we are about to meet. Reading on in 2 timothy. There was a message from Paul to Timothy to ‘Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and purity.’ And not to ‘quarrel’

Yes the devil will be there. But Jesus has won the battle! We will strive to be united, and repentant, and loving, only with God’s presence and His aid! Hallelujah! Set us aflame Lord! and guide us in this trip with everlasting arms! Amen.

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